The word “NO” is perhaps the most powerful word in the English language, but it has been reduced to a great extent by the notion of courtesy as many people are taught that refusal is impolite. A person who struggles to say “NO”, worries that they will let someone down, not be liked, or potentially cause conflict within a relationship. Saying “NO” leads them to believe they’re doing something wrong, even if it becomes a troublesome situation for themselves, personally. Simply saying “YES”, appears to make things easier, even if you have to go out of your way to honor someone’s request. However, ignoring your feelings to appease the desires of everyone else, is a futile task that will only lead to disappointment.
Saying “YES” when you need to say “NO” obligates you to put someone else’s needs above your own and can create a dynamic where you feel resentful, become burdened with unwanted tasks, or are taken advantage of. This behavior done repeatedly, can affect your sense of self-worth as you start to observe that your kindness is not being reciprocated. Worse than that, when you’re in need of support…no one can be found. At the end of the day, it is not a pleasant situation to be in. But here is a word of advice… never assume that a person’s needs will not be fulfilled because you can’t help them. Simply shifting your thought process and focusing more on the benefits of saying “NO”, will make it easier for you to start doing so immediately. That being said, let’s take a look at some of these benefits.
#1: You learn to put your needs first and start prioritizing things you need to do or enjoy. By doing so, you also establish healthy boundaries in your life which will be greatly respected by family, friends, and peers.
#2. You become more realistic about the amount of time and energy you obligate towards helping others. This eliminates the decision to put your needs last simply to squeeze in one more activity on your to do list.
#3. The people pleasing behaviors stop and you become less concerned about what people think about you.
#4. You increase your ability to be honest with yourself, which reduces the risk of being taken advantage of. This ultimately reduces overwhelming thoughts that make you feel stressed.
#5. You increase your ability to engage in honest communication with others, which improves your self-esteem and causes other to view you as a confident person.
#6. You learn to escape uncomfortable situations by not making up excuses or lying to get out of doing something you don’t want to do.
Now, implementing these tips can take some practice if you struggle in this area. So, take one day at a time, until you become more comfortable speaking up for yourself. It is also important to remember that acting as a Good Samaritan occasionally, is not a bad idea and will be rewarded in the future. However, you must use wisdom when determining which response is best for you. Then you will quickly realize the powerful impact this tiny little word “NO” has in your life. Try it and don’t forget to honor your emotions in the process.
Thanks, it is very informative