Younger generations look to their parents and grandparents to not only see what went right, but what went wrong.
With so many of us growing up in households with marital tension, it’s no wonder that so many Gen Z and Millennial couples attend pre-marriage counseling.
Pre-marriage counseling is a type of couples therapy that can help couples to assess and solidify their compatibility. What kind of pre-marriage counseling questions for couples should you expect to answer? Read on for our top five.
1. Children
Some couples make the mistake of getting married without ever discussing their expectations around children. During pre-marriage counseling sessions, you can and should ask:
- Do you want children?
- If so, when?
- What do you think parenting a child should look like?
Don’t assume that your partner is naturally on the same page or will go along with your desires regardless of their own.
2. Finances
Even after long-term dating, many couples don’t have open conversations about finances. In a pre-marital therapy session, you can have open conversations and ask questions like:
- How will we manage household expenses?
- Will we be joining finances or keeping separate bank accounts?
- How do you feel about saving, spending, and debt?
Money imbalances can create discomfort when they’re swept under the rug. Open dialogue can prepare you to navigate major decisions and potential hardships.
3. Intimacy
There are many different kinds of intimacy in a committed relationship, and needs and desires can change over time. Pre-marriage counseling is a great time to ask questions like:
- What does intimacy mean to you?
- What are your expectations around sexual intimacy?
- How can we improve our non-sexual intimacy to stay connected in all ways?
Your pre-marriage counselor can mediate conversations about the challenges or blockages you may be bringing to the relationship and how to navigate them.
4. Family and Social Life
Having a balanced and fulfilling social life can foster good mental health and life satisfaction. When you’re entering a marriage, it’s useful to ask:
- How important is time with extended family to you?
- In what ways will you fulfill your social needs once we’re married?
- How will we balance time spent together versus apart?
Entering a marriage may change what your social life looks like day to day, but it doesn’t have to bring it to a halt.
5. Conflict Resolution
Even in the strongest relationships, conflicts and disagreements arise. In couples therapy, you can ask and answer questions like:
- What do you expect our biggest hurdles to be?
- How do you approach conflict and why?
- What communication styles work best for you?
Working on conflict resolution, rather than trying to avoid conflict, can lead to a respectful relationship.
Bring Your Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions for Couples to Honor Your Emotions
Seeking counseling before getting married is a great way to set this important relationship up for success. When you ask these pre-marriage counseling questions for couples, you can better assess areas that need work and practice honest, open communication.
At Honor Your Emotions, our counselors are people of color who cultivate space for people of color. Learn more about our couple’s counseling options and sign up for your first pre-marriage session.
